I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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