Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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