Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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