I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
is wine microwaveable?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
