Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize