we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
