do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
