So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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