we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
