had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
