i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize