were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
