In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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