What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
