I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
