I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize