OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize