Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
