508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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