My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
