Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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