my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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