can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
