So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
