lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
