i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
