i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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