You're so nebulous sometimes
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
