There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
