what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize