i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize