Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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