im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I use my feet as sexual weapons
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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