i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize