It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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