Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
