Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
