I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
