It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
