why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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