apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
