You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
