I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize