I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
