Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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