hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
where are you?
Hypothermia
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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