if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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