Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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