I just cut my nipple shaving
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
