I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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