She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
