He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
