tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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