made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
