it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
