i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
