i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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