I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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