WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
