He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize