My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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