So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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