Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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