do herpes really smell.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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