We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
