Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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