I love black thongs
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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