he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
