I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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