how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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