I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I didn't notice because vodka
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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