Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
