life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
my poor anus
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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