I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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