I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
