haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
