how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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