What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
